Mumbai, August.

The streets have become waterways with hours upon hours of incessant rain. My car literally felt like a boat today. Poor Man's Venice, they call it now. My Dad was the Gondolier...

Brown teen rap! An interesting sociological phenomenon...

I was nerdy and pathetic when I was a teenager. The only Sikh boy in the entire school. Turbaned with unshorn hair with a sprouting beard, I was different from everyone else. Sikhs are a minority in India, and I was in Ahmedabad, Gujarat. The capital of Hindutva politics. Needless to say, I got picked on a lot. A lot. I was angry, inside. Someone made me hear Eminem one day, and I got inspired to write my very first original poem. I stumbled upon it tonight and thought it was just silly enough to make public. Please keep in mind that I was a teenage Indian boy who had just been introduced to rap and was by no means an authority on Hip-Hop lingo.

Read it in the funny Indian accent the Americans are getting so good at these days.
Here goes funny:


My Hairstyle Rap

Hey you, asshole, whatcha lookin' at?
Yeah I got long hair, but then, so what?

Hey you, watcha laughing at?
Ya got yellow teeth, atleast I don't have that!

Ha Ha Ha Check Check Check Check
Kiss a snake on its neck neck

Ya gotta have guts to do it
But you can't, 'cos ure so full o' shit!

A dumb, cheap asshole, that's what I 'll call ya
I'll piss on ure dead skull, and then I'll damn ya!

'Cos u don't know no shit about
Where all the cool peeps of the town hang out.

Ure not cool, ure just a fool
Whenever you see a tit you drool.

I'll kick ure ass and ure mother I'll fuck
So get outta my face if you want some luck!

Every dood has the freedom to choose
If he wants to look like a goat or a goose

(A goat or a goose, a lion or a moose!)

Short hair or long hair, it doesn't really matter,
Its whatcha eat that makes yer ass fatter!

Hey you, watcha lookin at?
Turn yer head around or I'll kick your sorry ass!



Hope the intense emotions came through. Sky out.

Gagan Judge, 23.

Things I have learned this year:

1. My sister is a completely different person and I have to accept that as a fact.
2. I need to keep my mouth shut sometimes to avoid getting into trouble.
3. I am smarter than most people but they don't like being told that.
4. I love food and I hate exercise. I will never be as thin as I was in high school.
5. I like watching movies and talking about them more than I like making them. Teaching might be a good career choice.
6. I can't keep a job because I get bored easily and am too whimsical. I need to be my own boss.
7. Being in love and being in a relationship with someone are two completely different things.
8. Writing requires more discipline than talent. I have no discipline.
9. I may not be as creative or as talented as others, but I have my own unique way of looking at the world and understanding its people. The day I find my voice and I really want to express something, it will all come to me.
10. Time spent living is not time wasted.

whatever...

Happy Independence Day!!!

Sixty four glorious years of butchering minorities, blatant corruption, bigotry, rapid industrialization, casteism, green revolution, white revolution, insurgency, emergency, MCVeggie and Maharaja Mac, animal rights protection, humal rights violations, no first use nuclear policy, bullying of neighbors, wannabe superpower, extreme poverty, non-alignment, non violence, honor killings, equal rights for women, female infanticide, great food, religious extremism, discrimination, spineless foreign policies, moral policing, Bollywood, regionalism - and still going strong! This is India, folks. Take it or leave it.

And hey, atleast we are not doing as bad as some other countries(Pakistan). No terrorism, military rule, failed econonmy, failed state, heroin trade, child rape and obstruction of justice here, so shut up! We rape only grown women, and there are no gay people. We are all Hindus. We are all named either Raj or Kumar. All of us are vegetarians. We all speak English, albeit in a funny accent. Like us. Please.

Our forefathers who fought for our freedom; those people who went to jail, were tortured and beaten with clubs and then hanged without a proper trial. Fasts unto death. The Salt March. Civil disobedience. They envisaged a nation of freedom, made by free-thinking people that would be a shining beacon to the rest of humanity. What a shame.