Something my sister wrote. Miss my teens like anything.....but ain't she great?!
Sitting on a windowsill......
denuded, broken, faint
everything dark now,all is lost........
except the moonlight and my cigarette.
Some pain inhaled......
some flicked off,
the rest sealed in my eyes,
a poignant calm..........
I think of you and my cigarette.
I miss my first smoke..........
I miss my first kiss,
...things lost too soon...
I miss your breath in my ears,
your fingers on my neck,
I miss looking at you,watching you sleep....
I miss the feel of your hair,
....miss you playing with mine...........
a resonance of memories.
You said you didn't think we were close.
Once, when I made you angry and you bit me,
I don't remember what I had done,
but I remember that you bit me, at the corner of my lip.............
I thought we were close.
I miss that and my cigarette.
I want you to hold me......
to just crumble in your warmth.
In life nothing goes.
love............ addiction...........
nothing cures..........
...an unfinished blank verse................
Sitting on a windowsill......
denuded, broken, faint
everything dark now,all is lost........
except the moonlight and my cigarette.
Some pain inhaled......
some flicked off,
the rest sealed in my eyes,
a poignant calm..........
I think of you and my cigarette.
I miss my first smoke..........
I miss my first kiss,
...things lost too soon...
I miss your breath in my ears,
your fingers on my neck,
I miss looking at you,watching you sleep....
I miss the feel of your hair,
....miss you playing with mine...........
a resonance of memories.
You said you didn't think we were close.
Once, when I made you angry and you bit me,
I don't remember what I had done,
but I remember that you bit me, at the corner of my lip.............
I thought we were close.
I miss that and my cigarette.
I want you to hold me......
to just crumble in your warmth.
In life nothing goes.
love............ addiction...........
nothing cures..........
...an unfinished blank verse................
a question that slips out my mouth involontarily: "are you mad?!"
ReplyDeletewhen i dont understand something simple, it means i refuse to. to understand means to acnowlege the pain, and to do that would be fatal to my heart and mind.
therefore i respond to the person with those three words. "are you mad?!"
when i want something that isnt yet mine, i push the want away, but then lose the battle and allow myself the want i denied in the first place.
but if there is even a glimmer of hope, i turn my head in sheer disbelief. "are you mad?!" i cry to hide the truth.
when i cant explain myself, i know you have won and i have fallen into a bottomless pitt with you. the sad part is, i know you will be able to lift yourself out of it and i will be left drowning in the bile of my misery. until another you reaches their hand in help, only to intend to push me back in again. a vicious cycle carves a path of my own demise and leaves behind the shambles of a repeatedly shattered heart, that sooner than later will retire into dust and blow away with the winds of time and death.
i guess im mad as well. so be it. if it is written, it shall be done.